My own feelings! This is the feeling of wanting to kneel down! Some things are quite emotional! Sigh, how painful it is! Sigh, how painful it is! Sigh, how scary it is! How should I count this matter! Sigh, how sad it is! How I feel! Sigh, love is scary! How I feel! How painful it is! What should I count this matter! Sigh, this is too sad! Do I not understand it! Sigh, how painful it is! Sigh, how sad this matter is! What I feel! Sigh, how uncomfortable it is! When did that happen! It is hard to bear in my heart! The girl that I liked fell into someone else's arms! Damn it! Can I not accept it? Only now do I understand what is called fate! Sigh! To love or not to love! Anyway, I can't be sure! Sigh, there are always too many regrets! Why is it like this! I seem to have a lot of opinions! I hope they are happy! But I still don't understand! What is happiness! I don't understand! Actually, happiness is very simple! Why can't I understand! But it seems like I don't want to understand! Life! Forget it! University students nowadays are under a lot of pressure! Sigh, how scary! They all get married late! But is this matter that important! Especially for me and my girlfriend who were born in the countryside! After graduating from university, we have to work for a few years before we have the ability to get married! It feels so difficult! Damn it! Sigh! Why do they have to treat me like this! Sigh, it's really enough! The price paid for this university is not small! My parents are also very poor! Sigh, they don't want us! That's not bad! Currently, I only have 20 thousand in savings! I said wait for her to come back! Give her the bank card! I didn't expect that I would be short of money! Sigh! In front of marriage! 20 thousand is not enough! I must be very anxious! I must be feeling a lot of pressure! The burden is very heavy! I'm very annoyed! If it's possible! Sigh, I still need to persist in my work! What about other people! It has nothing to do with me! Life and death are not up to me! Calm down! In fact, this matter wasn't that important at all! Do you think I don't understand that! In theory, it's impossible! Sigh, how sad! Sigh, how painful! Calm down! This is a matter of choice! But there is no choice! I finally understand! The many benefits of being a bachelor! Sigh, how scary! This matter is really stressful! It's a matter of survival! There are a lot of things that I'm not sure of myself! I'm also very scared! I can't do anything about having a job! I want to live a better life! I don't want to suffer! However, this was something that I was not at ease with! Why are the two of us?

Can't we live a better life! Sigh, good! What is good! I still don't understand! This reminds me of my childhood! Actually, my life now is already very good! Why don't I understand! Even though I work as a security guard! It's a matter of attitude! I'm just a beggar! What's wrong with that! At least put in a little bit of effort! At least try my best to live without giving in! Sigh, I can only write one chapter today! Damn it! It's raining! I can't get up! I only wake up after 5! Estimate! Sigh! What a pain in the ass! Sometimes it's too painful! Sigh, why can't I feel better! Sigh, I just want to live a little easier with her! Sigh! It's all a trap! I feel that this is very difficult! Sigh, everything about being superior is bullshit! I'm not interested at all! Is there any meaning to it! This world! Who will give in to who! Don't tease me! Sigh, I just want to live a little less difficult with her! It's impossible not to be difficult! Sigh, there's no other way! I don't have any skills! Sigh! It's so hard not being able to do physical work! Life's a tragedy! I don't work hard enough! Then there's no other way! It's necessary to work hard! I have to have a better attitude! Do I have a choice! Sigh, there's a burden! I didn't think so in the past! This pressure is not ordinary! Sigh, why do I say that! This is even more stressful than being a lunatic! How I feel! How sad! Sigh, reality is very painful! Sigh, I don't feel it! Sigh, how painful! Sigh, what's the point of all this! I can't even finish a chapter today! How should I put it! Even if there's no hope forever! Even if this is the so-called fate! But I still have to work hard! This is what faith is! Even if you know it's impossible, you still do it! That's how it is! Even if you know it's impossible! But you will still move forward towards the hope that you believe in! I thought so! It feels like I can break up at any moment! Didn't I write Dream of the Red Chamber! Only those who make a living with each other can last long! Those who are in love have a more miserable ending! They will break up sooner or later! The ending won't be good either! Sigh! Is there any blessing left?! Sigh! I'm thinking about it! Some things are not good to say! I really feel like kneeling!