The psychosis of an individual
Chapter 63
What kind of rhythm is this!
It's so early in the morning!
That's it!
That's all I want to say!
The world is so big!
Where should I go!
I don't know!
Who can tell me!
There are too many fetters!
I can't express myself freely!
At least when I'm writing novels, I'm free!
I really enjoy this feeling of freedom!
That's it!
Although my heart is full of fetters!
But I have a heart that yearns for freedom!
That's the contradiction!
I have to work hard to write!
I have to work hard!
I'm still not hardworking enough!
That's it!
I feel that I'm!
So silly and naive!
Why is it like this!
Being silly is a trait, being naive is my nature!
I have to clarify something!
In this era!
Be a little silly!
There's nothing wrong with being a little naive!
Instead, there's less fetters!
Do I still want to find a girlfriend like this!
I think it's impossible for you!
You don't work hard to reflect on your mistakes, and you still say that you're good!
My hands have been hurting recently!
I have to pay attention to protecting my hands now!
Before I finish writing and rewrite!
I have to rub some alcohol!
Otherwise, my hands will hurt!
I have to move my fingers from time to time!
I can't just move my fingers!
Think about the past!
How slow I was when I typed!
I'm still a little happy now!
I'm not that fast!
I'm just more anxious now!
I was too calm in the past!
I lacked pressure!
I'm very confused!
Think about the journey I've been through!
I've been muddle-headed all the time!
Computers are my weakness!
I have my own understanding of computers!
I want a simpler computer!
It wasn't getting more and more complicated!
It would be best if everyone could do it!
That was the problem!
He was always wandering around in other people's world!
It was useless!
He should have his own!
I watched a sci-fi show yesterday!
Let me share my personal opinion as well!
Start from yourself!
I'm an honest person!
I'll bring up the limitations of common knowledge!
And cognitive limitations!
There was no essential difference between the two!
Common knowledge was only a small category of cognition!
Common Knowledge Limitation!
Here's a simple example!
I might not know the people you know!
You might not know the people I know!
Then the question is, is there anyone we know?
There was a limit to this common understanding!
Most of them were famous people!
Let's talk about cognitive limitations!
Recognition!
It's what you know, what you understand!
Maybe they're from the same class, you know them!
Two classes!
Three classes!
They were from the same school!
Two schools!
I believe that the universe has boundaries!
The universe was formed by the Big Bang!
This was a common view!
But the energy of the explosion was relatively limited!
But it wasn't something we could estimate!
There was a relativity of energy!
Take us and ants!
Compare!
We have a bit of energy!
We can give it to ants!
Bring about a devastating disaster!
For the entire solar system!
We're just a part of it!
Just like a cell in the human body!
Pathetically small!
I also want to bring up a theory of the microscopic universe!
It was like this!
Maybe the solar system was just a relative atom!
The so-called relative atom!
It had the nature of an atom!
Under normal circumstances!
These positions were stable!
As long as there was no chemical reaction!
This was just a hypothesis!
It was the basis of the atom!
Positions were just relative positions!
Our relative positions!
Were almost unchanging!
Here's an example!
This was hard to say!
Take a basketball as an example!
No matter how you throw it!
The position of the lines on it was fixed!
This idea was too crazy!
The world we were in!
It was just a relative atom!
And the number of relative atoms was far beyond our knowledge!
That was it!
We should introduce a larger scientific unit!
Of course, this was hard to say!
Although it couldn't be proven!
This was my previous point of view!
At that time, my brain was having a seizure!
I also had this point of view!
The number of relative atoms was absolutely huge!
This was just a thought!
It was beyond our knowledge!
Maybe we're living in a super-giant human body!
Or maybe it's a huge rock!
The size of the rock was something you couldn't imagine!
Were you writing a science fiction novel?
This was a hypothesis!
You said what was with time!
Time was relative time!
Just like how many of our cells died every second!
But we didn't die!
For our cells!
Our lifespan was long!
How many times was it?
One hour was 3,600 seconds!
We could live for too long!
For our cells!
This was just a hypothesis!
It was hard to prove!
There was no such good microscope!
It could magnify a galaxy!
Or even a microscopic universe!
Then it might not work!
Why did I have this point of view!
The arrangement of a galaxy!
But there was a problem!
Galaxies rely on gravitational forces!
But it seemed like atoms relied on electricity!
I was thinking!
Was there another type of electricity?
That we didn't know yet!
If my point of view was valid!
It might be so!
Was there a new way of constructing matter?
A new type of relative atom!
It just needed to rely on it!
Gravity could be produced!
This was a new type of matter!
If I could think of it, it was impossible for others to not think of it!
They specialized in this!
I only dared to say it!
If I said it like that, people would definitely think that I was crazy!
This subverted their understanding!
But the basic laws were still there!
We had lived for hundreds of millions of years!
Hundreds of billions of years!
For the microscopic universe!
It could also be said that it was relative universe!
It had just passed!
A few days!
This was very possible!
Our whole life!
Which was a second in the microscopic universe!
Or even less, there was relative time!
Even a high school student like me could think of it!
Someone might have thought of it!
It was just that it wasn't known!
Hypotheses were still hypotheses!
There was no proof!
It was hard to prove!
I don't think there was much meaning in going to the outside world!
Eating and sleeping the same way!
Working the same way!
There was nothing good about it!
It was more troublesome!
To me, every day counts as long as I can!
I put forward such a point of view. If it was proven!
I would definitely win an award!
Because I was the one who put it forward!
It didn't mean much!
But it gave us a direction!
And not something!
If I could think of it, why couldn't others!
I felt that this was the problem!
It might be related to my mental illness!
My thinking was different from ordinary people!
I felt that someone was controlling me!
Just like how we control our own bodies!
I didn't dare to write such things anymore!
It was useless too!
I couldn't do anything!
This was the problem!
I hated being controlled by others!
I liked being independent!
But when had I ever been independent!
This was a problem!
There might only be one in ten patients who had the same educational background as me!
But there was someone as boring as me!
Half!
There was someone as naive and stupid as me!
Another one in ten!
So!
I was still the one and only me!
No one could control me!
My life was in my own hands!
The heavens didn't control me!
I fought against the heavens!
So this point of view was put forward by me!
It wasn't anyone else!
It was useless too!
It couldn't change anything!
It was just like that!
Humans were humans!
They couldn't be gods!
Don't expect too much!
I was very doubtful!
These things had been discovered a long time ago!
If I could discover it, why couldn't you?!
This was not possible!
We were all learning the same things!
My point of view didn't mean much!
Life had to go on!
But it gave me a way to think about the problem!
It was an attitude!
My whole life was just a second of yours!
I had nothing to worry about!
Do it boldly!
Write it!
This was my point of view!
I should believe it myself!
But it could still be doubted!
I was thinking about the entire microscopic universe!
I was nothing!
My whole life!
What was that!
My whole life was just a second of yours!
Not that much!
Outside the microscopic universe!
And the relative universe!
And the relative microscopic universe!
The universe was relative!
I didn't deny any point of view!
The Big Bang was still feasible!
To be honest!
I hadn't officially learned the theory of relativity!
I had only heard of it!
Then you still dared to talk nonsense!
It was just like that!
Actually, there was no need to care so much!
We just had to live well!
Someone once said that I could do scientific research!
With my current level!
It was difficult to even get on the bed!
I didn't even know the principle of the internal combustion engine!
I still dared to do scientific research!
My whole life!
I couldn't do scientific research!
What I mentioned had no practical value!
If you said that I had a way!
To increase the speed of the rocket!
To go to Mars or something!
To get so many awards that my hands went soft!
But I didn't know how!
My thoughts were too big!
It wasn't a rocket at all!
It was a problem that could be solved!
What was the point of that!
I wasn't after any fame!
I just wanted to get some money to eat!
I just wanted to finish my meal in a more relaxed manner!
When I thought about it this way, my whole life was just a second of yours!
There was no point in using this name!
It was a waste of feelings!
I mainly wanted money to eat!
I wasn't that ambitious!
I had no choice but to do it!
I knew how to claim land!
I had this point of view!
I could understand it!
At least a certain level!
It wasn't something that anyone could understand!
I wasn't talking nonsense!
Cell death!
That was what the book said!
It wasn't me who said that!
This didn't need to be proven!
In the past, I always thought that I was a savior!
Children nowadays also wanted to save the world!
What did you use to save the world!
My first novel!
It meant to save the world!
How was I different from others?!
I wasn't as good as them!
The one who saved the world was definitely not me!
Because I was no different from others!
It was just like that!
Speaking of this!
That kind of person could have superpowers!
Just like how no one could be a top student!
Not everyone could save the world!
What was the point of saving the world!
What I wanted to do was to save myself!
I felt that there was a problem with the value orientation of cartoons nowadays!
They were always talking about international competitions!
What world champion!
What saving the world!
Bullshit!
What did you use to save the world!
Superpowers weren't something that anyone could have!
But I believed that I had them!
It was cartoons and novels that harmed people!
They gave people hope!
Reality always made people despair!
As long as you worked hard to change it!
Not everyone could have superpowers!
Just like a few years old kid!
How could you save the world!
And you said it so confidently!
That wasn't right!
Superpowers!
They were given by themselves!
It wasn't a fortuitous encounter!
Children nowadays were all like that!
I used to be like that too!
But it was the same now!
It was just an upgrade!
Why couldn't I save the world!
It was because!
I didn't do well enough!
Not everyone could save the world!
No thinking!
No thinking of being kind to others!
You were harming society!
That was it!
That was why I didn't have any superpowers!
You did!
Spouting nonsense was your superpower!
Not everyone could write like me!
Not everyone could be as boring as me!
I still had to save the world!
That was it!
I had to take care of myself first!
I couldn't even take care of myself!
How could I be independent!
Making hero movies now!
Heroes should be at the bottom!
But their thinking was definitely to be kind to others!
According to my understanding!
Only heroes like that!
Can save the world!
Saving the world wasn't a slogan!
Saving the world wasn't something to brag about!
It was a kind of mentality to be kind to others!
This was much more important than saving the world!
I couldn't even live on anymore!
Then I would brag about saving the world!
I only wanted to be myself!
The world didn't need me to save it!
I had no obligation!
Who came to save me!
No one!
Everyone said that I was a pervert and mentally ill!
I just wanted to find a girlfriend!
I was ostracized by others!
People like me couldn't even save themselves!
What I said was just not mainstream!
Forget it, my life was just a second of yours!
Normal people's thinking!
They weren't as big as me!
They took too many things into consideration!
They always felt that they had this and that!
Actually, I didn't have anything!
I just have one less person to confide in!
I was just a little superficial!
Even people like me could have superpowers!
That was definitely harming society!
I'm well aware of my own limitations!
That was definitely not wrong!
That was it!
Heroes should have the look of a hero!
I could tell that I was a monster!
I needed to be beaten up!
From what I said, I didn't seem like a good person!
My computer was almost out of battery!
I had to work hard!
I had to use all my savings today!
This was better than my!
What any angle!
It was dozens of times stronger!
Mentality was very important!
Alright!
I'll come back in the afternoon!
I'm going to watch a movie!
Bastard!
Who told you to watch a movie!
I didn't need anyone to teach me to be bad!
It wasn't easy to learn well!
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