When did it happen! When I started to have a crush on her! The first girl I liked! My heart was moved! My tears! It was when I was in the fourth grade! Sigh! Haha! How should I put it! This question seems to be a pain in the ass! She was a dancer! For me! She could be considered as my first crush! At that time! I transferred there! Now, it seems like I made a fool of myself! They all became interesting memories! I couldn't find a classroom! I wore a hat in class! And so on. These are all memories! I'll write them when I have the chance! I remember that time! I was very timid! Now that I think about it, I'm very excited! At that time! My mom told me to buy breakfast by myself! I could cry for a very long time! I'm also a talent! Sigh! I know what I want to write! I've had a bad temper since I was young! I should have written about this before! At that time! My mom came to pick me up from school! She said she would take me to eat barbecue! I despised my mom for wearing ugly clothes! I didn't go there! I only realized it now! Because of this problem! I've been wrong my whole life! Sigh, don't say it anymore, it's all tears! Sigh! This thing can't be made up for! Sigh! I really can't see it with my eyes! Sigh! Of course, this chapter doesn't need to be about romance! It's useless, alright! Then, many years passed! The next time my mom picked me up from school! How many years later was that! Hur hur! Seven years later! I still haven't forgotten the feeling I had at that time! Sigh! It's really a trap! It can't be helped! Sigh! It's all a trap! I was in the fourth grade at that time! Writing this damn thing is giving me a headache! I had to repeat a year in middle school! Second grade of high school! Sigh! What a pain in the ass! Writing all this is really making me suffer! Because there are regrets! I'm still unable to make up for it! Sigh, it's really too scary! Some of the pain is for a lifetime! Sigh, I don't have the strength to write these things! It's making me suffer! Sigh, but this can't make me! What am I avoiding! The first time I ate cotton candy! It should be when I was 20 years old! I'm 24 years old this year! I've never eaten those things again! Sigh! Damn, it's really disgusting! Hot dry noodles! I've only eaten one bowl before! I remember it very clearly! I only ate a little! Then my mom! She took it home to eat! Sigh! How should I put it! These things! At that time! It should be 2013! I never expected this! This problem! Sigh! It's all tears! Fortunately, I'm mentally ill! Otherwise, I'd be in so much pain right now! Sigh, it's still okay! It's still okay! I've only eaten a bowl of hot dry noodles before! I've also only eaten cotton candy once before! These memories! They're all lies! I can't face it! I've always had a big appetite! I like to eat cold dishes! I like to eat meat! This reminds me again! On my birthday in 2015! My mom gave me the Twice Cooked Pork! I still remember that scene now! Damn! How much time has passed now! You still remember that scene! It's a trap! Some things need to be remembered for a lifetime! A lot of things! The past will become forever! At that time! At the electronics factory! At work! Wearing the factory uniform! Sigh! It's a pain in the ass! It's better for mentally ill people not to have feelings! That's because it makes me feel terrible! Sigh! Damn! The world of normal people! I can't understand it at all! It's just that my memory is good! A lot of things! It's become forever! I only found out about it now! Sigh, it's so scary! I feel like I've lost something! Sigh! But speaking of which! The smell of hot dry noodles! I can't look straight at it! Sigh, it's really scary! Sigh! I won't go there again! I'll never go there again! Sigh! I can't understand the world of normal people! Because normal people! They definitely feel that it doesn't matter! But I might remember it! I feel that it's a pity! Because I missed something! It's destined to be forever! I've loved more than 300 women! Sigh! I can't accept it! Actually, I still don't understand! A lot of things will become forever! Time can't keep anything! It's not something that I can grasp! Normal people! I can grasp it just right! But mentally ill people! I don't have this ability! Mental illness! I can't learn it at all! I only know it now! Mental illness! I'm still living in my memories! Why can't I understand it! Love is such a thing! Sigh! And kinship! I didn't understand it in the past! But I really don't want to understand it! Because I'm just mentally ill! Sigh! Damn it, this is giving me a headache! I'm really bored! Sigh! What do you want! Sigh! But only now do I understand what I've lost! It's too much! Every girl has become forever! Hur hur! Maybe I just remember! Maybe I won't love anymore! I still don't understand feelings! Sigh! I can't do it! Some things! It's impossible to be perfect! Sigh! It's impossible! Sigh! It's all tears! So! Nostalgia is a common problem of mental illness! Of course, this is nonsense! How should I put it! Don't flatter a mental illness! There are also mental illnesses who like to brag! I can't say who they are! I'm just a good person! I'm not a good person either! I'm trapped by my desires! It's fine if I don't have desires! Of course, this is a practical problem! This is a matter of being human! I still can't learn it! Why don't I know! Sigh, it's so scary! I still don't know! Sigh, it's so sad! I still don't understand some problems! My girlfriend! Sigh, some things! The problem of feelings! I can't handle it well! Sigh, I can't actually do it! Sigh, I don't have that ability at all! Sigh! I can't do it! Sigh, it's such an uncomfortable problem! Sigh, I can't do anything about it! Sigh, it's really scary! I think it's true! Sigh, it's really useless! Sigh, it's about feelings! These problems! It makes it hard for people to be virtuous! But normal people! Why can they do it so easily! But my ability to control it! It's definitely much more than normal! Things that I can handle! Will be more! Normal people! What can they do! Although how should I put it! Sigh, this is related to mental illness! Normal people! It doesn't matter! This is a problem of being human! Some things! I think I still don't understand! It means fleeting clouds! I think I still don't understand! To think I still don't understand! And I call myself a writer! Sigh, of course this is a trap! I can't fill it in! I'm alive! I'm just alive! Sigh, don't I have too much hatred! Sigh, because there are things! To put it bluntly, it's actually very simple! Damn it! Who's that! He's tricking me to eat again! Damn it! I'm alive! It's actually very simple! I didn't understand before! But now I know! It's really very simple! It's just a bite of rice! Why bother! Don't pee on those things! Because it's meaningless! I don't know! Sigh! Why did you do it! Sigh, I always don't know! Sigh, it's really not easy! Let me think about it myself! It's too sad! How can I not know! Sigh, it's too sad! Sigh, I really don't understand! Sigh, how scary! What's the point of this! Sigh, it's really not that important! Sigh! It's not easy! Sigh! Scary! Sigh, it's really not easy! Sigh, it's too sad! Sigh! Some things will make people suffer! Perhaps the most suitable person! Not necessarily! For a lifetime! Together! How do I know! Who told me that! Sigh! Hur hur! Don't ask me why! Sigh, there are things! It will make people suffer for a lifetime! Sigh! I just don't understand! Why are you telling me this! This makes me! It's really painful! It's really not easy! How can I not know! Sigh, I really don't know! Sigh, it's really not easy! Sigh! How can I not know! Sigh, it's really not that important! Sigh, it's too scary! I thought it was! Sigh! In my opinion, he died in the hands of a woman! Haha! Of course! I don't understand! It's impossible! Who the hell! I can't die! Hur hur! Of course, this is my own choice! A woman's problem! How can it be so easy to face! Hur hur, why don't I know! Sigh, it's scary! This problem! It's really not that easy! There are things that I don't know! Sigh, it's really scary! I'm fooling myself again! I have to admit that I'm really a talent! Sigh! I'm so bored! I like lying to myself so much! Sigh! What a scam! Why don't I know! Actually, I'm still too bored! Sigh, it's not that easy! Sigh, it's about some problems! Sigh, I feel like I can't face it! Sigh, is it really important! Sigh, it's so scary! Why don't I know! Sigh, it's such a big scam! What's this! Sigh, it's not important, okay! I might not be clear about it yet! It's really not that important! Sigh! Scary! What's this! You're just a melon eater! This is too much! Okay! I don't understand myself! Sigh, what a scam! What do I want to do! It's really not that easy! Sigh, what do I want to say! No one is allowed to bully my girlfriend! Why! I don't want anyone to be wronged! But this doesn't make sense! Sigh, I don't understand myself! Sigh, if I knew, I wouldn't have an emotional disorder! I wouldn't have a mental disorder! I really can't calm down! Haha! There's a problem! I'm not clear about it yet! Sigh, I really don't understand! How can I not know! It's about my girlfriend! I can only say that I have to be calm! Sigh, it's scary! What do I think? Sigh, it's really not that important! Haha! What do I think? But I can't explain it clearly either! Sigh, is it really important? Sigh, I might not know! Okay! What do I think? Sigh, it's not important! What do I think? The existence of literati! It's better not to trust them too much! Most of them are just melon eaters! For example, myself! Sigh! How should I put it! Are people liars or not! Are they sincere or not! It really has nothing to do with what they do! What do I think? That's wrong! Don't think that authors are honest! That's all there is to it! Can I say that I'm a general without an army now! Calm down! I've run out of money! I've given it all to my girlfriend! Why can't I give it to her! Worldly possessions! I won't give it to her! How can I let her! Give me your entire life! Things like money! I won't bring it with me! I won't take it with me even if I die! Am I an idiot?! That's all! But I'm hungry! I want to eat meat! Damn it! I ate fried noodles in the morning! I fried about half a catty and ate it! Sigh!