The psychosis of an individual
Chapter 48
Yup, that's how it is!
A new day has begun!
It's getting closer and closer to a month!
It's already been 25 days!
Actually, it's also been a month!
It's only because I uploaded it a little late!
That's the reason!
I want to move forward!
I want to be free!
Yesterday, I had a dream!
I dreamt that my classmate and I were playing the same game!
It's that text MMORPG!
I'm still a student!
And I'm very outstanding!
She's also very good!
I feel like she's conscious of me!
This illusion came too suddenly!
It's obviously a surprise!
The later ones are even more ridiculous!
Eastern fantasy genre!
And Xianxia genre!
Yup, I have nothing to say about this!
That's enough!
Not bad!
It's like this!
I still remember!
All these years?
Everything seems like a dream!
It doesn't seem real!
But it had happened!
This is life!
I don't know what will happen in the next second!
That's enough!
Yup, last night is like today!
Today is like last night!
How much worry can a gentleman have!
Just like a river of spring water flowing eastward!
What kind of rhythm is this!
Listening to this familiar rhythm!
I downloaded it!
I listened wirelessly!
It's too nice!
This sound is very good!
It's filled with faint sadness!
That's the sound I want!
There was a hint of sadness in her voice!
That's a good sound!
I don't like it that's too funny!
I'm a rather sad person to begin with!
I don't know what I'm happy about every day!
I'm singing and dancing!
I have a melancholic good voice!
That's why I'm confident that I can become a singer!
It's just talk!
So what, don't I even have the right to talk about it!
As long as it's not illegal!
Why do you care how I write!
It can't be too restrictive!
That's why I can't write well!
That's why I write badly!
This sound is too nice!
It'll be even better if we can be friends!
I always like the feeling of being hot-headed!
Just like what a certain someone said!
I don't like you!
I just like the feeling of liking you!
That's what Brother Knife said!
That's the problem!
How to write a fantasy, but there has to be a reason!
Pure fantasy is very difficult to write!
Let's use that as the theme!
Write a pure fantasy!
Of course, not now!
No one will read pure fantasy!
There can't be too much fantasy!
But it can't be too realistic!
How should I start!
I've arrived!
I'm just a weakling!
How can I write the feeling of a powerhouse!
There's a problem with my character!
How can I write a good person!
I can't!
I've arrived!!!
Welcome to this bus!
Please be careful when alighting!
How should I start!
How can a weakling write the feeling of a powerhouse!
A person with a problem with his character!
He can't write a good novel!
This novel!
How should I start!
What background should I set!
What have I done!
Not everyone wants to be strong!
If I don't have a reason to be strong!
I have to be strong, because I want to survive!
There's no other way!
Give me a reason why I don't need to be strong!
There's none!
I can't wait to be strong!
Because of fate!!
Because I'm not an ordinary person!
I have to be strong!
Because I'm not an ordinary person!
Although I'm also very ordinary!
It's just that there's a small problem with my mind!
I still don't know how to write!
My type of work tends to be realistic!
No matter how good it is, it's just wishful thinking!
It's just self-entertainment!
It's just self-deception!
I've read too many novels!
I can't accept reality!
I can't let the protagonist have it easy!
At least have a headache like mine!
Otherwise, everyone wants to be the protagonist!
There's a price to pay for being the protagonist!
The contrast is too big!
I can't accept it!
There's no other way, I can only create dreams for myself!
I can write something like this!
I still don't know how to write it!
I have a lot of problems that haven't been solved!
I only have a preliminary understanding of myself!
I still have a lot of psychological problems that haven't been dealt with!
Who am I writing for?!
This is a problem!
It might keep bothering me!
I don't even know why I'm writing it!
It's a waste!
To express my feelings!
Four words can be summed up!
But there's too much involved in it!
Because I have regrets, I want to write a novel to commemorate it!
I don't have much time left!
I have to write well soon!
I can't write well now!
I still prefer to write mainstream novels!
Novels don't have any restrictions!
It's just to express my feelings!
Big ideas need to have small details!
I can't just brag!
It's useless to brag!
I don't have enough words now. I heard that I have to write about 1 million to have experience!
I've only written that much!
Obviously, it's not enough!
I've had enough. I even believe this!
How can I describe the details!
I've never had such an experience!
I've always written monologues!
This is because I lack practice!
I remember writing a synopsis once!
It's the one about Haibu!
The teacher told us to write a synopsis!
I don't know how!
I just copied the text!
In the end, I wrote the most words in the class!
I think it's right to write that way!
Some things don't matter if it's right or wrong!
This is what I want to write!
Just based on this point, you can't say I'm wrong!
My essay is surprisingly bad!
It's never been read aloud!
I don't know where I got the courage to write a web novel!
Wishful thinking has helped me a lot!
It's also related to my personality and experience!
When I had a seizure, my dream was to become a writer!
To write a different work!
It's been five years!
Although I'm not a writer!
I'm at most an author!
But my work is indeed different!
I used to write horror!
I didn't have enough experience!
Writing horror!
It might be my strong suit!
With my writing progress, I'll write romance!
And horror is the most suitable!
I'll write something else, at least two chapters!
It's hard to make a name for myself!
I don't want to write horror!
But I'll use myself as the theme!
And create!
I was born with low self-esteem!
My confidence is just to cover up my inferiority!
I'm just an ordinary person!
I have to admit this even if I don't want to!
If a romance novel can be updated daily, it's hard not to be popular!
But I can't write well!
I haven't dated before!
I don't even talk to girls much!
It's not easy to control!
I can't write a long story if I fall in love immediately!
I have to think of a way!
The girls' dormitory is a good example!
The girls' dormitory series!
It's too classic!
I can't write about catching ghosts together!
There are too many such themes!
Ghost Blows Out the Light is the same!
It needs to be improved!
Everything should be more natural!
It can't be pretentious!
This is my request!
How should I handle it!
It's better to write reality than fantasy!
It doesn't matter if it's fantasy or reality!
But the feelings are all real!
Someone said it before!
There are many gods on the Internet!
There are hidden dragons and crouching tigers!
There are super strong streams of consciousness!
My goal is to become a super strong stream of consciousness!
Although I'm negative and pessimistic!
I feel that I'm bad in my heart!
They're all good people!
They're filthy in form and not filthy in mind!
But I'm both in form and spirit!
I'm bad!
I'm like this when I have a seizure!
I feel like I'm the worst person in the world!
I'm bad!
It's not fake at all!
I have a problem!
I have to blame myself!
A fly won't stare at a flawless egg!
I'm most afraid of this!
I have a seizure!
I feel like I'm the worst person!
I can't jump out no matter how I think about it!
I have no need to live on!
I'll be fine after resting for a while!
If I think about women!
My condition will worsen!
How can I write a novel if I don't think about women!
How can I be on steroids? It's this that makes me persevere!
It's my motivation!
But it's definitely not the only one!
That's just me lying to myself!
I thought that if I write well, I'll be able to be with her!
She'll be touched!
But!
I've already made such a mistake!
But I still believe in hope!
If I write well, I'll be able to find a singer girlfriend!
Just thinking about it makes me happy!
I'm naturally good at lying to myself!
But reality isn't like that!
It's because I have such an obsession!
That's why I can persevere!
The so-called obsession, to put it in layman's terms!
It's just a silly thought!
To put it bluntly!
It's just daydreaming!
I've practiced for many years!
This skill is also very deep!
Daydreaming can be addictive!
I won't talk about this!
I'll just talk about obsession in the future!
Without obsession, one can't write a novel!
Obsession equals hope!
Hope equals obsession!
It seems that anyone can write a novel!
I've heard of it before!
People in China have written novels before!
There are many people!
There aren't that many!
There definitely aren't 10 million!
There might be 2 million!
Just take my serialization website for a look!
There are about 10000 updates every day!
I didn't look at it carefully!
10000 is just an estimate!
Why are those who read novels so uncharacteristic!
They only know how to read those that are forcefully promoted!
Good to read!
This is a problem!
My works are very suitable for teenagers to read!
These guys have time!
I might have a lot of American dollars!
I'm going to apply for a cover page!
There are too many words like "wait and see"!
I'm going to get recommendations!
Although it's not very useful!
I haven't signed a contract!
It's not possible to become popular!
However!
It's not important whether it's popular or not!
I'll write it even if it's not popular!
There's no difference!
Instead, it's more pressure!
It's just adding to my sadness!
That's just looking for trouble!
Of course, it's best if it's popular!
Why am I not popular!
Because I'm not ready to be popular!
I'm lacking in my ability!
But my feelings are still in place!
As long as there are feelings, it's fine!
Feelings are the soul of a novel!
And the idea is just the body!
I can't say that the body is not important!
The body is the carrier of the soul!
If there's a soul, there must be a body!
If there's a body, there might not be a soul!
But I haven't read a novel without a soul!
I felt a strong sense of love!
Or it's straightforward!
Or it's bony!
This is a problem!
Maybe I'm lacking in high-level feelings!
There are some things that I don't understand!
This is also the feeling that I lack a soul!
I lack a backbone!
I'm always so careless!
I'm mainly focusing on a series of discussions about my novel!
And asking for a girlfriend!
That's my backbone!
It's the same as not having one!
There must be small details in the big picture!
Otherwise, it's really empty!
I lack a jacket!
He liked the feeling of being honest with each other!
Today was surprisingly fast!
I might have used less than two hours to write a chapter!
I still have 500 words left!
I can finish it!
Before 9: 30!
I still have a lot to write!
I still have too many feelings to express!
I don't have friends that I interact with frequently in real life!
Brother Qiang is still passable!
He's going to strike it rich now!
And I'm a tragedy!
He and I are elementary school classmates!
He's a friend that I still have feelings for!
He's also a good friend!
I'm chatting happily online!
There aren't many!
Brother Qiang!
Former high school classmates!
Thinking about it, it's true!
High school female classmates, I only remember, Xiao Hu!
Ma Yun, Xiao Lin!
Ruan Jingjing!
I can't even remember the names of many others!
Xiao Lin is the class belle in my heart!
It's been seven years!
My memory is too scary!
I've had enough!
I need to use my life to remember your back view!
I need to use my life to think!
I also need to use my life to write novels!
You only know how to use your life to talk about things!
That's enough!
You want it!
You're still very foreign, aren't you!
You're very proud of yourself!
There's a feeling of being high and mighty!
You're still very foreign!
The one who doesn't dare to watch the news broadcast!
We're all about the same age, so why is there such a big difference!
So I have to work hard to catch up!
I'm a positive pessimist!
I'll catch up!
Can I?
I still have to eat, I still have to write novels!
What's the so-called eating, sleeping, writing novels!
Writing novels!
It's entertainment!
There's still too much waiting for me to write!
I mainly want to write realistic novels!
I'm afraid I won't have enough time to recall!
I can only find you in my memories!
I might also write something that's purely fantasy!
But that's still in the process of thinking!
I haven't even finished writing this one!
I plan to write a handwritten novel!
It's too expensive to print!
Handwritten novels are too practical!
Then I'll write until I explode!
I don't know how many words there are in a book!
I haven't researched it!
There's actually 20 million on the Internet!
I'm scared to tears!
And it seems to be written very well!
At my speed, I still need to write for 20 years!
I can't beat that!
I feel that it's still very well written!
I can write a million words at most!
A million words is trash!
3,000 words a day, and I'll finish it in a year!
For a web novel writer!
I can write that much casually!
I'm not enough!
Although I'm not a full-time writer!
Writing a million words isn't a problem!
What's a million words!
Writing five essays a day!
Writing for a year!
It's scary just thinking about it!
I haven't written so much before!
I don't feel tired writing like this!
It's just that my body is tired, but my heart isn't!
If I write well, we can be together, I think!
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